Today I had the great pleasure of taking four of my daughters to Kmart to go buy cosmetics. They go there as its cheap and good enough for their ages. My second eldest daughter 17 years old my third eldest 15 years old my now 13-year-old and my 8-year-old ensured my time spent there would be painful.

As the time rolled on surely but slowly my testicles ascended and I was convinced I was growing ovaries. “dad does this look good” greeted with a shrug of my shoulders. The questions were coming thick and fast and I had no reply. They were like vultures circling a rotting corpse. They were loving every second of making me cringe. All I needed to fully collapse in a ball and start frothing from the mouth would be to head to the underwear section. Thank god that didn’t happen.

I got out of it cheap. The 8-year-old who is of the belief she is a princess that rides a unicorn only cost $17. She bought two lip balm for $3 total, a unicorn headband $3, A nail polish dryer $8 and nail polish $3.

My 13-year old bought a holo backpack for $20. My response shit that much. But apparently, I don’t understand what is and isn’t a bargain. With her everything has to be Holo (holographic) it drives me nuts!

The other two melon head daughters didn’t like what was. left on the shelves and to be fair the shelves were bare. But I know when they restock this father will be badgered to go back cosmetic shopping losing all my manhood pride.