I stupidly agreed when at pacific fair shopping centre on the gold coast to allow my little bastards to enter the godforsaken makeup shop. Instantly my testicles ascended and ovaries started to develop with every shriek of excitement at a never before seen colour lipstick. The explanation of what each product did and how I needed to get it for them was honestly excruciating. Little Bastard number four was of the belief I should hand over my wallet so she could get her much-coveted items to make her beautiful. Even when the sales staff painted there faces like some carnival clown I still couldn’t see the fuss. But hey, dad’s just don’t understand. We should just pay up and shut up.

God forbid but I made the inexcusable error of asking why they needed Makeup that price and whats wrong with makeup from Kmart. Even little bastard number five howled in protest. I should just stick to the policy of not going into stores that I know are going to cost me $100 to get out of and leave it to their mother. It wasn’t just the price but they had to look at every single item and colour, this is madness. God surely punished me today with this. Never again will I deviate from the man line and lapse into a sense of they will be reasonable, no harm them looking. Girls and make up are hell on earth.